he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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