Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
