If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
