someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
