My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
