so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
