just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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