No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
