I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is wine microwaveable?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
