So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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