I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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