He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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