so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
pray to the hookup gods
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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