she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wish my penis had a tongue
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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