So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
