he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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