He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
