From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
