If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
