You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
