i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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