do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
