just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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