I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
