I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
