This girl is more easily done than said...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
