Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
