I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
