He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
