the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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