Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
