it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
