we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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