Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
