The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
