I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
