i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My feet surprised me
So. Much. Porn.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
