so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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