is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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