Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
