She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
