Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
