For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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