your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
