I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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