He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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