Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
