my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
this is an emotional support booty call
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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