Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
