Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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